


The Truth about Love

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: it's my first thing here, just kageyama reflecting on stuff, kind of angsty oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 03:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2334191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'It had always been hard for him to believe in things like absolute trust in another person, things like wanting someone else to be happy, things like just wanting another person to be there so much it hurt... things like love, really.'</p><p>In which Kageyama is reflecting on loneliness and Hinata.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth about Love

It had always been hard for him to believe in things like absolute trust in another person, things like wanting someone else to be happy, things like just wanting another person to be there so much it hurt... things like love, really.

Maybe it happened because of his parents- sure, they had divorced when he was little, but they had fought too much, too loudly, too violently. All of his memories of his parents together were of glares and bruises and barely-concealed anger in the words they spat at each other. That wasn't love, not at all. And of course, there were probably happy memories of before they fought like this, when they still loved each other, but those memories were too far suppressed under the bad memories to even think of them.

Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that he never really had anyone to trust in- no one to begin to love. His parents were too self-centered, his old teammates didn't like him, and he thought himself too gone, too broken to warrant trust from other people by the time he got to Karasuno. He knew the others on the team (or, as a few liked to call it, the *family*) wondered why he never really confided much in them. Why he never seemed to trust them that much with his feelings or asked for help. Really, how could he tell them that the whole reason he didn't was because of him not believing himself worthy of their trust, their friendship?

But slowly, ever so slowly, he was beginning to open up. He was beginning to laugh a little, beginning to share stories with that so-called *family*- and beginning to understand why some liked to call it that. And almost all because of one person, he hated to admit to himself.

Hinata.

Hinata, the little bundle of sunshine and seemingly endless energy; Hinata, the day to his night, the light to his darkness. Hinata had been the one to decide that maybe he was more than just a setter, more than just someone who was too into volleyball; Hinata was the one who had decided that he was worth the effort of talking to. That he was worth those ridiculous phone calls at three in the morning with silly little questions like his favorite color or his childhood dreams. Hinata had started slowly breaking past the walls he had spent so many years carefully constructing, almost without meaning to. Hinata made him feel complete. With Hinata, he wondered if maybe, just maybe, he could start believing in those things, in trust and happiness and everything else.

Hinata made him wonder if love did exist. If love was the reason his parents got married at first, if love was the reason they cried after their fights. If love was the reason he wanted to cry every time his small arguments with Hinata went too far. If it was the reason he never wanted to leave Hinata's side, the reason why he didn't mind all those phone calls too early in the morning.

He knew it wouldn't last. Love didn't ever truly last, after all- his parents were an example of that. He'd have to find a way to exist without Hinata, so that when it stopped working, when they fought their last fight, he wouldn't fall apart. He would have to find a way to end this before it began.

And he was slowly coming to terms with the fact that this thing they had, it was called love. It was indeed the much sought-after phenomenon, and for reasons he was started to understand- even if it never lasted. Anyone could tell you it didn't; his parents were one example, sure, but what about Asahi and Nishinoya? It was still awkward for them, so long after it happened. And maybe it was worth it to some people, but to him... to him, it was just another reason he would be sad, another reason to fall back into his dark folds of loneliness. The bliss of it wouldn't be worth the end of it.

If Hinata were to offer him the opportunity, however, he knew he wouldn't be able to give in- he would do anything the redhead wanted. He would go on any date, buy anything... leave anytime Hinata no longer wanted him. Hinata would get bored, he'd stop wanting to love him, he'd simply ask him to *leave* and he would do it. He would do it without any tears until he got far enough away Hinata wouldn't see him; he'd still be trying to keep him happy and not be thinking of himself.

They say love makes people stronger, but he knew that it was exactly the opposite. Love made him weaker. And he hated it.

**Author's Note:**

> (I'm sorry it was so short but I wrote it after a test in French so.)  
> It was more than a little angsty and I promised myself angst wouldn't be the first thing I posted here oOPS.  
> I promise I'm working on something happier it's just not really coming to me. (It'll be a lot longer =w=)  
> Did you like it? Any pointers would be nice, I'm still not that good at writing!


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